Cha-Ching!

My cousin and bridesmaid helped me spend way too much money today.

Of course, wouldn’t it be my luck that a “trunk show” is happening on this very day? A trunk show, you may wonder, is a day when the shop has a one day special on a certain designer who ships in all his upcoming season’s gear and woos unsuspecting young brides-to-be with his one-day discount and promise that the dresses won’t even be in stores until next spring. I’m not going to say that’s the only reason I bought the dress, but the guy sketched me in the gown for Lord’s sake. And it has some sparkly bits. I at least give myself some credit for leaving the store and walking around for three hours before going back and trying it again; it’s not as if I started bawling with delight and forked over my credit card immediately.

Here’s a tip for people who want to work in a bridal boutique: you have to deal with assholes all day long, so get ready. The lady next to us had her mom with her, and the mom actually said this: “Well that won’t work because it totally clashes with Grandma’s dress.” What? What clashes with white and why does your nana have a dress picked out before you do? My cousin almost Kung-Fu Panda’d that fat lady but she kept her cool. (We were being polite to work the discounts).

Bringing girlfriends to help with dress shopping is essential. Their faces are better than the mirror. Ugly dress? Friend’s lips quiver so she can suppress a honking laugh and avoid embarrassing the saleslady, even though you already told her you really aren’t into the whole “mermaid” style. Friend’s eyes go moist and you have a keeper. Simple.

Now the question remains: How can I afford this dress? Cursed charming saleslady, overly kind designer-on-site, and frivolous dress-choosing-helpers!