Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Surprise!
One week ago, I had no clue. With an empty ring finger and zero visions of a nervous boyfriend on the horizon, I was blissfully unaware. My friend—my two years younger friend—had just got engaged, making me somewhat jealous but also curious and excited. Surely I would
someday maybe possibly perhaps be proposed to as well? Had you said I would be engaged within ten days, I would have laughed at you, rolled my eyes, and probably tripped you on the way out for good measure. I am positive if I had been one of those movie characters who finds the secret velvety ring box in a secret underwear drawer I would have immediately expected a proposal and developed a nervous tic if it didn’t come within, oh, eight hours. Oh, and I would have been guiltily miserable if I didn’t like the surprise jewelry choice. So it’s a pretty good thing I had no idea.
My fiancé—haha, I can call someone my fiancé!—is not the most suave of guys. Sure, he’s kind and well-intentioned, always doing the right thing, like being responsible and only drinking two beers on a Tuesday night, but Romeo he is not. It’s not the more-than-average sweating, or shaky hands, that make me say this. It’s that he is a terrible secret keeper, liar, and deceiver. These deficiencies are good in a romantic partner, surely, but in a top-secret proposal and spontaneous romance creator, well, more Maxwell Smart than James Bond. Needless to say, I was confident I would see it was coming. “Not so fast, Smarty-Pants,” you should have said.
Here’s how I reacted when he finagled me out onto the front deck of my family home in 40 degree weather, asked a couple trick questions, and then the real one: “are you
serious?” Then, looking at the beautiful—so beautiful it looked fake—ring: “is that real?” Girls should be slapped when they ask if engagement rings are real, I don’t care if you think girls should never be slapped. Its like, “No, Josephine, he’s slightly shaking and sweating out here on the windy, cold porch, practically dragging you out to join him, opening a velvet ring box in your face, and hiding champagne in a mixing bowl of ice around the corner because he is just that good a prank-player.”
PS. After my initial, inane responses, I said yes.
someday maybe possibly perhaps be proposed to as well? Had you said I would be engaged within ten days, I would have laughed at you, rolled my eyes, and probably tripped you on the way out for good measure. I am positive if I had been one of those movie characters who finds the secret velvety ring box in a secret underwear drawer I would have immediately expected a proposal and developed a nervous tic if it didn’t come within, oh, eight hours. Oh, and I would have been guiltily miserable if I didn’t like the surprise jewelry choice. So it’s a pretty good thing I had no idea.My fiancé—haha, I can call someone my fiancé!—is not the most suave of guys. Sure, he’s kind and well-intentioned, always doing the right thing, like being responsible and only drinking two beers on a Tuesday night, but Romeo he is not. It’s not the more-than-average sweating, or shaky hands, that make me say this. It’s that he is a terrible secret keeper, liar, and deceiver. These deficiencies are good in a romantic partner, surely, but in a top-secret proposal and spontaneous romance creator, well, more Maxwell Smart than James Bond. Needless to say, I was confident I would see it was coming. “Not so fast, Smarty-Pants,” you should have said.
Here’s how I reacted when he finagled me out onto the front deck of my family home in 40 degree weather, asked a couple trick questions, and then the real one: “are you
serious?” Then, looking at the beautiful—so beautiful it looked fake—ring: “is that real?” Girls should be slapped when they ask if engagement rings are real, I don’t care if you think girls should never be slapped. Its like, “No, Josephine, he’s slightly shaking and sweating out here on the windy, cold porch, practically dragging you out to join him, opening a velvet ring box in your face, and hiding champagne in a mixing bowl of ice around the corner because he is just that good a prank-player.”PS. After my initial, inane responses, I said yes.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Shouting from the Rooftops (not)
While I previously mentioned I am “anal” and “a little bit bossy,” I did not mention that I am somewhat introverted and shy. These traits might not seem to go together, but, here I am. The reason I am divulging oh so much about myself is that now that I am engaged I have had to tell everyone in the world—well, my world anyway—the news. Sharing news is not my strongest 
point. Along with brushing my hair and shopping for long periods of time, it is something I do only when absolutely essential.
My first mistake was scratching my face with my left hand in front of my boss. Since I have been working here for less than two months, let’s just say my work relationships are not that friendly yet. But no one can resist staring at and commenting on a shiny new diamond ring. It is particularly shiny, of course, but that’s not the point. The point is that I turned into Awkward McUncomfortable when I realized I would have to tell everyone I worked with very soon. Talking with people I barely know makes me cringe, and start to sweat under the arms, and there is just no way to avoid it. It’s like when a stranger on the subway tries to strike up a conversation, I panic and think evil thoughts about her, swearing inwardly about how annoying friendly people are. Mass emailing my friends, that’s more my style. And it is exactly what I did, naturally. Emily Post may not have that on a list of ways to communicate one’s engagement, but…
point. Along with brushing my hair and shopping for long periods of time, it is something I do only when absolutely essential.My first mistake was scratching my face with my left hand in front of my boss. Since I have been working here for less than two months, let’s just say my work relationships are not that friendly yet. But no one can resist staring at and commenting on a shiny new diamond ring. It is particularly shiny, of course, but that’s not the point. The point is that I turned into Awkward McUncomfortable when I realized I would have to tell everyone I worked with very soon. Talking with people I barely know makes me cringe, and start to sweat under the arms, and there is just no way to avoid it. It’s like when a stranger on the subway tries to strike up a conversation, I panic and think evil thoughts about her, swearing inwardly about how annoying friendly people are. Mass emailing my friends, that’s more my style. And it is exactly what I did, naturally. Emily Post may not have that on a list of ways to communicate one’s engagement, but…
Sunday, October 19, 2008
It's On!
Have you ever thought about getting married? I mean besides daydreaming about what your kids would look like if you had them with Jake Gyllenhaal or sweating itchily through an hour and a half Catholic mass ceremony, praising the Lord that it wasn’t you up there in front of everyone and could they please have an open bar as soon as we get to the party? Well, since I got engaged about six hours ago, getting married is all I can think about, and I am surely hoping this is a normal reaction that will soon subside and we don’t have a major case of Bridezilla-itis on our hands. Needless to say, calling me “anal” and “a little bit bossy” would be a gross understatement, and the equation “me + Bridezilla-itis” wouldn’t make anyone feel good.
Not that I’m complaining, but this ring feels so tight on my finger. And if I take it off I’m sure I will instantly lose it, wouldn’t that be great? But I guess I can’t complain, somebody likes me enough to ask me to marry him!
Not that I’m complaining, but this ring feels so tight on my finger. And if I take it off I’m sure I will instantly lose it, wouldn’t that be great? But I guess I can’t complain, somebody likes me enough to ask me to marry him!
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