Something I hadn't thought to worry about...

Coaching lacrosse camp this week, I found something I haven’t had in a long time: a farmer’s tan. Normally, I wouldn’t mind one bit, and would actually find it amusing. But for some reason today I panicked, suddenly thinking about how it would look if I got married tomorrow and had these abrasive lines cutting light and dark across my arms and neck—pale, dry winter epidermis adjacent to silky dark summer skin. Eww. All ruining the time and money spent on the dress too. I don’t want to offend anybody out there, but I think it behooves you to have an even skin tone on your wedding day. Tan lines look bad no matter what (spring break skanks, anyone?) so really, let’s keep them out of the biggest day of your life, thank you. Now let’s hope I can spend some time in a strapless bathing suit somewhere in the next couple months. If I can’t do that I might as well embrace it and just only wear t-shirts all summer to really build it up. Or wear t-shirts to the tanning salon-awesome!

So long Invitations...

Today’s the day. No, not that day: Invitations are going out. This is a big step because really, once those invitations are out, how many couples have the guts to cancel? Even if they really really need to? I would say none, so I’m back to my orginal statement about this being a big step and all. Fiancé did some major stamp application, and even did right by buying the stamps with the sparkly wedding rings on them. What a catch, right?
They look good, if I do say so my own biased self. And I am dumping them at the post office in t-minus half an hour to send them away forever, only the RSVPs to ever see again (and those are going to my mom so let’s hope I don’t see any of them ever again). I’m not sure what to do with my calligraphy pen and renewed skills, but I’m sure they’ll come in handy…and we have some extra invitations and stamps I’m not sure what to do with (except keep away from Fiancé’s mom)…but I feel quite accomplished and will enjoy checking this off the interminable list.

Penmanship 101

Now that the [overly large and somewhat full of people Fiancé and I don’t know] guest list is complete, it’s time to perfect my 6th grade calligraphy and get on with the show. Ideally I would have “midnight blue” ink to match the invitations’ ink but, alas, I cannot find any in the great state of Colorado. Unless I want to buy a legitimate calligraphy pen and set for the low-low price of hundreds of dollars. Which I don’t. So, black it is. A $2 black, medium point calligraphy pen from Michaels’. I love Michael’s. Where was I? 6th grade calligraphy skills. That’s right, I was in the “gifted and talented” class that got to leave math to go downstairs and do…calligraphy. Good thing too, because look what I’m using it for!
I only messed up half of the extras. Good times.

Final Guest list...only slightly larger than is possible

We were told 180 people could fit in the tent (and the church). I thought 180 was a rather large number and was glad to use some of the space for an enormous dance floor, but Fiancé’s mother wanted to invite the entire world so we compromised and said “Sorry, only 180 can fit in the tent.” That’s not a lie either. That’s a tightly packed, professionally set-up tent layout…and since we’re setting up on our own it’s safe to say 180 won’t exactly fit then. Now that you know this, guess how many are getting invitations? Let’s just say it’s more than 180. It’s going to be a bit awkward when it starts pouring rain and I have to ask those extra guests to “please go back outside in the exposed lawn with your soaked tablecloth and snubbed candles because you can’t fit in here.” I can only imagine. We’re really hoping the rule about people RSVPing “no” comes true. I hear it’s 10-20% of the invitations but really I’m hoping for more. No offense. Well, I don’t actually care if I offend you because I don’t even know you. Again, I’m not trying to be cranky but isn’t it partially my wedding? I say 180 is a lot and I’m right.

I’ve heard the guest list is a huge cause of in-law strain and I certainly believe it and am living it first hand. Yikes.

Bachelorette Party, check

I did not have a seizure, I did not go forever in debt, and thankfully I did not have to get on stage with the half-naked Australian strip-revue as my friend promised me I would, but I still found Vegas overwhelming. I’m guessing most people do. But some people man, some people love it. They friggin’ love it. They’re waiting in three-hour lines for the crappy buffet, inflating beer-pong tables to float in the pee-filled pool all afternoon, sitting at the same gambling table—without winning—for hours on end, dodging vomiting drunkards on the Strip, endlessly gyrating too- close to too-loud speakers and a bad DJ, and generally adoring the bacchanalia. These people are hilarious. People watching in Vegas was worth all the money I had to drop on bad food, weird shows, etc., etc. I want to go on more bachelorette weekends to Vegas. Imagine how fun it will be when I’m not the one wearing the dumb sash and embarrassing tiara!